I have been at home now for almost 2 weeks, since my husband and I decided it was the best thing for me to do and leave his company, as we always said that our marriage comes first and as soon as working with family or anything came in between us, I would leave. So, it did and I left. 😉
I have been keeping myself busy at home with listening to podcasts and trying to ease my mind and my anxiety and try my best to “find myself again…” since my surgery, something has changed in me and I feel like I need more from my life.
So, I have been trying to get my mind in a more positive space before thinking about money and where that is going to come from. Lol.
I have decided to put my emotional and mental well-being first!
It has not been easy, thinking back on the past few months and coming to terms with it all… The biggest part of everything is trying to focus on what is rationally important to me and what I think is good for me.
They are 2 very different things!
I know that I have to face the demon inside of me that is angry at my surgeons and myself for not getting the information regarding my scars. I have to learn for going forward in my life, that I cannot always act out of emotions of trust everyone. A second opinion is always a must when it comes to my body and my health.
I have to face the facts, that my body does heal slowly and that is ok, it doesn’t make me broken, just not the same as most people… I need to learn to be patient with my body’s healing process (a sarcastic YAY goes off in my head) 😉
I have opened up my plaster every week, as per my doctors orders whilst he was on leave, and it does look like the infected area is healing and there is still gross stuff coming out of it on the plaster, but apparently that is normal. lol. I have an appointment with him this week and I am also getting a second opinion this week too. so praying for a good week with news about my progress!!!
But there is one thing I need to remember and anyone who is going through a tough time in their lives, whether it be dealing with BRCA or cancer or anything at all…
You can choose to step forward into uncertainty or backwards into comfort!
– Abraham Maslow
Each step, baby step or huge leap, is a step in a direction! Right or wrong!