Sooo… I had my LAST expander fill yesterday!!!
I am in extreme pain, my back is killing me and not to mention the weight of these babies are HEAVY AF! And I only have 400cc’s, I can’t imagine how it must feel to have heavier… Shjoe, I take my hat off to ladies who have heavier expanders, truly!
I am so relieved that this step of this journey is over. Now I wait until January for my exchange surgery! YAY! Some certainty and progress!!!
Having these fills and just taking this step forward in this journey has changed me completely… during the 12week waiting period post infection and complications, I lost myself…a lot! I was in a very deep and dark place. But just having these fills and making progress, I finally have Megan back and feel like I am in control again.
Have I mentioned how incredible my new surgeon is 😉 LOL. Just kidding, I do it on every post. But really guys! Having a surgeon that talks to you straight forwardly and being so understanding of how this surgery impacts me and my body and my life, is soo amazing! Yesterday she was speaking to me about the implants shapes and where she wants to fat graft and where is best to give me some extra cosmetic advantages. I mean, hello! I couldn’t have prayed for a better surgeon.
The pain hit me on the drive home yesterday and then I was man down!!!! And today I am pushing through the pain at work, because I am trying to prove myself, but I think it is going to hit me with force later, but I will be ready 😉 this strong ass cookie aint giving in anytime soon!!!
I want to give back to the community of women who have breast cancer or are survivors or Previvor’s like myself. I am in contact with a NPO to donate paintings (PS: I sold my first painting ever!) now, I am no artist, I do it for fun and as a hobby and because of a HASHTAG on Instagram, someone found me and bought my painting! My painting is now on someone’s wall on the other side of the world! WHAAAT! I am trying to be an ambassador for the BRCA community in South Africa as well, I am hosting a small get together next weekend to hopefully get that off the ground.
Sooo much hope at the end of this long dark tunnel I have been in for so long… I feel like I can breathe again…. But not right now exactly, as breathing hurts A LOT with the expanders being so tight after yesterdays fill. Lol! But you know what I mean 😉
My new challenge for myself is… Balance and doing what makes me happy without overthinking EVERYTHING!